Well I had another good night sleeping in the recliner but if I am honest I am also desperate to sleep in bed even if I am scared that I might cause more harm to myself. Paul has been great by sleeping on the sofa and not leaving me in case I need him in the night.
I am still feeling really tearful and my emotions are all over the place. I have been told this is normal after surgery but it is annoying too as I am up one minute and down the next, and I have no idea why. Paul has been relaxing going to the pub to catch up with his mates and leaves me feeling this is all an anti climax, everyone else is carrying on as normal and I am stuck in a time warp.
I have wanted this bypass for so long that all my emotions and stress have kept me going up until this point, so now what, what happens now? I am finding myself thinking and feeling just a bit pissed off that now it is all over and everyone else is carrying on like nothing has happened, and that I cannot do much at the moment, as I am very tender still and get exhausted quickly. Can’t just jump in the car and please myself.
It’s a bit like when I have lost a loved one and you want to know why the world is carrying on and not going at your pace, which is total stand still. It’s a very bizarre feeling.
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