Well I thought I would save some time for Paul and order on line as I have money off vouchers for Sainsbury’s. The only problem with that is I have ordered Paul and the kids some ice cream and mince pies a long with some other goodies that they have been asking for.
I have given myself a good talking too and decide that I will not be tempted to eat any of it. Well that lasted as long as it took me to unload the shopping. The ice cream is soft and just too irresistible, but I pay the price and I have to be sick and it will not digest and I feel rough.
Surprisingly I still haven’t learnt my lesson and I succumb to mince pies and ice cream later that evening. I know it is not feeling good but I still continue to eat them. Within half an hour I feel I have trapped food but also start to feel very light headed, clammy and know I need to get to the bathroom. The only way I can be sick is to false myself and I have to assist it by putting my fingers down my throat. I am not totally successful and only the ice cream moves. I start to shake, and have to sit down on the loo.
The well known dumping syndrome has arrived because I stupidly made it happen. Paul is asleep in bed upstairs but I manage to call Niamh and she gets Paul up and downstairs to me. I can feel that I am getting progressively worse and cling onto Paul as I feel I am going to pass out. This lasts for what feels like an eternity but probably isn’t too long.
It is so scary how ill I feel and I am subconsciously thinking oh my god, I am going to be back in hospital and all sorts of scenarios are going through my mind at a 100mph whilst trying to stay conscious. Eventually I feel I can leave the bathroom and Paul tells me I am no longer drained of all colour. That is it; I am NEVER going to do that to myself again.
I have had on occasion been sick because I had to since the surgery, as I had food trapped or I just didn’t feel well with it in my stomach. I don’t seem to be able to be sick very easily. I do fight against it when I am ill but I have had no choice but to do this as food is trapped or not digesting and not doing anything about it will make me feel very uncomfortable and it also seems to effect my breathing too.
Tomorrow hopefully will be a much better day.
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